Look At Me

Today I rolled out of bed early.

I promised him that I would and it was all my bright idea.  To wake up before the crack of dawn together and seek Him out.

I didn't even hear the alarm but instead woke to the yellow glaring light he had flicked on in the bathroom.

How I am NOT a morning person.  It takes everything in me to get out of bed at a normal hour and I think to myself how this is insane but stand firm on my word and plant my feet on the cream plush carpet almost begrudgingly and arise.

I stumble down the creaky stairway and find him sitting there, looking at his phone and almost roll my eyes until I come closer and realize that he is reading scripture on it.

He tells me how he woke up, right before the alarm went off, from a dream.

In the dream, he tells me,


There was a hand reaching out and water around and he was fearful but the man behind the hand urged him and spoke...


 "Don't look left or right...LOOK AT ME!"

and then he awoke...moments before the alarm...

He immediately thought of the story in Matthew of Peter walking on the water.

And that's what he was reading on his phone when I almost rolled my eyes at him.

He reads it for me...

Matthew 14:26-32 (NIV)

²⁶ When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.
 ²⁷ But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
 ²⁸ “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
   ²⁹ “Come,” he said.
   Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. ³⁰ But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
 ³¹ Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him.“You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”
 ³² And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down.

And as I let the words, this bread of life, in...a chill runs through my veins and out my skin, goosebumps all over...


We woke early to seek and He speaks...


And we are listening with ears perked out because He has shown up BIG...


And I don't doubt now...


My faith has been increased...


I know we can walk on water, if we look to Him, not to the wind or the storms of life, not left or right but straight on ahead to Him...


I am encouraged, we both are!  Our eyes are straight ahead...


But the question isn't:


"Will we walk on water?"


He has assured us that we will, if we look to Him...not left, not right...


and He has enabled us this morning in the early hours of the day as the children still dream fast asleep to do just that... look to HIM...


The question is:


"Will we get out of the boat?"

Casting Fear at His Feet

Cool dry days and chilly evenings are upon us.

The One who holds the universe is harkening back autumn once again.

Crisp dry woods burn and scent the air with that nostalgic campfire aroma.

Our local high school greens uphold cleated feet, tackled teens and marching boots, all gearing up and getting ready for that first Friday night under the bright lights.

Memories flood of those swift and fast days of my youth whenever this season is drawing near.

Somewhere deep but not too far gone is that young girl filled with fears of walking into the crowded lunchroom, tray in hand, looking for a place to sit...throat dry and stomach fluttering...scanning, praying to find a familiar friendly face with an empty space open so her biggest fear of eating alone won't come to fruition in high school as had happened much too often in middle school.

Not too far gone is the girl who worries way too often what others think...

Nerves still flutter in social situations...

The "pleaser" who pretended to like liverwurst so her mama would praise her "easiness"  still frantically seeks approval...

Much of the time mulling over many words spilled out in conversations...

And now my little ones, these beings who have filled this hollowed heart to overflowing, will be trekking gym floors with lunch trays in hands.

And this gift of motherhood pushes me to hard places as I worry about their hearts breaking and personalities pleasing others...

But His Word reminds me:

"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.  Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.  Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand.  His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."(Phil. 4:6-7 NLT)


And so I throw my worries, my needs at the feet of the Creator of the Universe who holds our lives in the palm of His hand and offer thanksgiving for this new season drawing near, even if it is a hard thanks...because I know that His peace will guard my every fear...

Five Minute Friday (NEW)

It's Friday again and I have been enjoying these five minute posts that Lisa-Jo over at thegypsymama.com has been encouraging a bunch of us bloggers to participate in....

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. Get a little crazy with encouragement for the five minuter who linked up before you.

Today the subject is:

NEW

Go:

Gazing at a newborn baby fresh out of the womb does something to a woman.  Something unexplainable....

Everything is pure, untouched, not blemished with the polluted world yet...

The freshness of smooth, undamaged, flawless skin and all that goes with that is beautiful...

I long to hold each one of my three children for the first time, just once more...taking in every bit of untouched newness...

I think that is the closest thing to pureness that I have ever attained...

Yet Christ has made me just that...

New...Unstained, pure and Unblemished through Him and Him only...

He has taken this old, used-up heap of worn-down flesh and turned every bit of it into a newborn being...

"He makes all things new"  And tonight I am thanking Him for re-creating my messed up, worn-down, haggard old self into someone brand new!!!

STOP

Laundry Lessons

Yesterday as I was putting a dent in the mountain of clothes in my laundry room and fretting over yet another sports commitment for one of the children, it hit me straight and hard...

ENJOY every moment of their childhood...

I was reminded in a new way that "this too will surely pass..."

and all too quickly time will slow down and my laundry will be caught up....

and there won't be any baseball pants soaking in stain remover...

or ferocious smells of hockey equipment lingering in the air...

and there will be no leotards or adorable tiny tights scattering our wooden floors...

So ENJOY these moments!!

Cherish the smiles and the trophies...

Enjoy the recitals and the tournaments...

Treasure time as a taxi-driver, because it's time with them...

....the laundry can wait!!!

Micah's favorite pastime...shooting pucks!

Micah at a tournament

Jonah with his "Andy Greene-signed stick" on the last day of the NHL player's hockey camp...look at that smile!

Jonah's team and coach encouraging him as he pitched!

Sweet Ayla in her ballet class.

1st place (at a tournament) Trenton Travelers!!!

Coach Dad

Beauty (Five Minute Friday)

1. Write your words without editing them.
2. Tell your readers you’re linking up here and invite them to come and share their unedited stories too.
3. And most importantly, go visit, read, and compliment the person who shared right before you.

Easy peasy. OK, are you ready? Give me your best five minutes for the prompt:

BEAUTY


GO:

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, or so the saying goes.

What am I beholding today?  What do I define as beauty?

Do I look for the outward shell?  Judging a book by it's cover?

Most of the time, I have to admit that I do.

But true beauty lies much deeper than skin deep.

True beauty is never self-seeking.

True beauty radiates throughout personalities and dispositions.

True beauty finds lovely among the ugly.

True beauty turns dust into life.

True beauty is defined in the marrow of one's life, way down deep in the core where integrity lives.

I yearn to be beautiful in this way, the true and only way one should constantly seek to live.

Never seeking popularity or recognition but always reaching down deeper extending and sacrificing and serving.

STOP

"Smile and Nod"

I am sitting on my back porch watching the lightening show in the sky.  The rain pours and pounces, changing directions swiftly and fiercely making it's mark.  I feel like a child again as each one of my three...'not-so-littles'...make their way to me.  Concern and anguish grace each face as bright light flashes across the sky.  Hands and arms reach over to me grasping for comfort and reassurance.  My 12 year old is worried mostly about the beating his new bike in the driveway may be taking but the younger two are afraid that they may be struck and hurt.  I try to explain and cradle them each in my embrace for this cherished moment that they actually want and need me in.  And even though the thunder roars I have to be the rock...the grown mama... and I can't let on that the storm scares the living daylights out of me as well.  It may not be my bike in the driveway but my umbrella and patio furniture is out back and my house could blow down and crush us all with these unseasonable winds in an instant flat...But no, I just smile and hold tight and tell them that everything will be fine.  

Lately this has been my motto....Just like the little penguins from the movie "Madagascar" 

...'Just smile and nod boys, smile and nod'

Because isn't that what we end up doing so much of the time as parents?  When the waters are raging and the storms are beating...We have to hold it altogether and pretend like "it's all good"...

We have to be strong for them when the thunderstorms of life pounce on us and beat us down.  When the ones closest to us are sick and hurting...when we don't have the answers to the hard questions...when their little hearts have been beat up and broken and ours are bleeding even more for the pain they are going through.

We long to protect them from any extra anxiety or fear.  So we take it on ourselves.  

But so much of the time those burdens that we carry to protect can be too heavy to hold.  

And as the lightening strikes and the thunder rolls, I am reminded that I have a Father in heaven who loves my 'not-so-little ones' even more than I do...

Will you join me tonight in handing over your burdens that you are carrying, as I do mine. to the Creator of this magnificent creation...

1 Peter 5:6-7
Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

because he cares for you....

And because of that you and I can truly

"smile and nod!"

WHOLE (Five Minute Friday)

Today is Friday, Five Minute Friday....Here's the deal:

1. Write your words without editing them.
2. Tell your readers you’re linking up here and invite them to come and share their unedited stories too.
3. And most importantly, go visit, read, and compliment the person who shared right before you.

Easy peasy. OK, are you ready? Give me your best five minutes for the prompt:

WHOLE

In 5 minutes starting now:

Go

In first grade I still pretended that a half sandwich filled me up, not a WHOLE one...

And still I pretend much of the time that I am filled up.  Filled with the Holy Spirit to overflowing...more than whole...

I like to wear the mask...

Afraid to reveal the broken me to the world around.

Always covering my blemishes, my pieces with foundation that only wears off...

Reaching out only when my breaking self is so unrecognizable that I have no other choice but to extend a hand upward to my savior...

Who always glues me back together, whole in Him, even when glimpses of light are still bursting forth through cracked holes...

but maybe that's what it's all about, this life that I live...

Brokenness made WHOLE...daily through Him...and some cracks left open allowing His Light, Jesus to shine through...

STOP

So it's actually Saturday morning 12:27 am as I write these final words...but I am still awake and definitely considering it Friday evening....

Happy FRIDAY!

Lit up Life

Joe's Grandma Adeline turned 90 this month and Saturday we celebrated her birthday.  All of her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren were able to make it...

surrounded by all of her grandchildren

                                                 


...and she was glowing, literally...


We posed the children around her where she was seated and as I gazed through the camera I noticed that she was lit up.  


As she held her great grand babies, you could see her heart of gold lighting up her face but the sun was also shining and beaming brightly direct on Grandma's pants that were shaded in her favorite color, yellow, and her coordinating top.   

great-grandchildren

It was as if God was aiming the sun directly upon her and allowing her to have a moment in the spotlight.

But really her life has been spent spreading God's light, His love, to those around her.


She became a nurse after her son was in a near fatal car accident that almost took his life.  She prayed to God that if He would spare him, she would spend the rest of her life helping others.  


God saved him and she kept her promise.  She went back to night school to receive the diploma she never was able to get.  She went to college and became a nurse in her early 50's.  


She tells me that she loved nursing and with that being said, she has never really retired.  She continues to give advice and cook up home-made chicken soup for us when we are sick. 


She has lived a life bent low, serving those around her without even thinking twice.


She took care of her brother, brought him in to live with her and cared for him when he was sick...


Grandma's aging mother lived with her almost until the end...Grandma wouldn't have it any other way...


She never once went back on her oath to God, even in the valley of the shadow of death...


Her first husband, Grandpa Joe suffered with and eventually died from cancer...Grandma was there nursing and caring every step of the way...


Her second husband, Wally quickly passed last summer from cancer also...there she was holding his hand...


And just as she holds the hands of those she cares for, I know that the Lord is holding her hand, every step that she takes.


Grandma took a fall at her grand-daughters wedding in the beginning of March.  She fell down a flight of stairs and we were all worried...scared that the worst was to come...


But our gracious God was holding onto her and Grandma didn't break a bone in her body...only her nose which really is cartilage...And even though she was badly bruised and took a few weeks to recover...she is doing great!  


She grew up the only girl with five brothers and is a bit feisty to say the least!  


She has seen a lot in her long lifetime and witnessed more than words can contain...


I once heard someone refer to the term "survivor" as "thriver" instead...and she is just that, a "THRIVER"


Grandma drives herself up to the salon at least twice a month to get her hair done and I cherish my visits with her.  I let our talks soak in deep and hold them close to my heart.  Her words are wise, 90 years wise!


Joe has so many fond memories of his precious Grandma.  He collected a number of them and put them to a piece of paper for her.


And lately I have been holding onto each moment, each memory-to-be that I have with her.  


I don't know if it's because I lost my grandma this past fall...she would have been 90 in January, they share the same birth year...


But we never know how much time we will have left with our loved ones.  


Every moment shared...HOLD ON TO! ...don't let it slip away!


Live a life bent low reflecting the only true Light of the World where no darkness abides!


"When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, 'I am the light of the world.  Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life' " (John 8:12)

Happy Birthday Grandma!  May you continue to light up others!!