There's a light at the end of the tunnel...Or so the saying goes. But nobody ever really talks about the tunnel itself. How cold and slippery the ground is while trekking through. The depth of despair that permeate the darkness as you feel your way in the dark. You continue, make your way through and every once in a while a ray of light blazes through into your being, glimpses keep you going. You trek on and work like crazy doing your part as much possible. But emotions stir fast and swift, back and forth, up and down like climbing mountains one moment and soaring through valleys the next...and everything is rampant. One minute you have the faith of Abraham and the next, hardly a mustard seed, maybe even a grain of sand but there it is flickering in the darkness of the cave. And even though you question if your guide is still in front, leading the way through the chaos and unknown, something inside reassures that you are not alone. There is a resonating pulse, though almost silent at times, that continues... a slow, sure beat in the back of your mind, of your heart.
Through your weariness and trouble it carries on...as you fix your eyes ahead onto the dull glimmer awaiting at the end of the journey you are on. Doubt creeps in and you look up, gazing ahead knowing there are maybe not perfect things in store but good things. And you take another step that is filled with so many emotions but you go, carry on, journey ahead.
We have been walking through a tough tunnel of our own the last several weeks. These words pour out my heart, fear of the unknown, questioning every move, every step. We had this unknown destination placed in front of us December 11. Joe was "displaced" from his job and opted out of re-interviewing for a different position in the company. Knowing this restructure was going to be taking place several weeks in advanced, Joe had prepared. Multiple job opportunities fell through. He actually had more than one verbal offer and was prepared to put in his two week resignation when the brakes on the opportunity in place got slammed. Hiring freezes appeared out of nowhere or promoted employees decided they wanted their former jobs back...And we prayed, and waited and thought maybe it's meant to be that he stays put. And then the phone rings, he got the call...He called me right after, I was with my Friday Morning Girls (my small group who I love more than words...) when he told me through the phone. I think my knees buckled as tears rolled and my sweet friends embraced me and told me to go and be with him. The pause button was hit and everything put on hold. And nothing can prepare you for the empty hollow feeling that floods when it actually happens...Stress and tension in our home was high...One moment you felt assured and at peace and the next filled with rapid heart beats and anxiety. The ebb and flow of emotions was countless. But we could feel the prayers of those loved ones around us in the midst of it all... And looking back now I have to say that I would never wish the lack of a job on anyone. We were more than blessed and grateful for God's provision through it all. Countless resumes were sent out and many interviews later...he received a job offer. I think about my friends and acquaintances who have faced the same fear, only much worse. The word grateful doesn't seem to sum up our thankfulness to so many people who carried our burden through thoughts and prayers. And we are eternally thankful to our Father in heaven who is the provider of everything.
A tunnel of uncertainty may be your surroundings today. Maybe it's not the loss of unemployment but rather a loved one whose voice you yearn to hear again. Illness, broken relationships, addiction, hurt, busyness, depression...whatever path you are walking down at this time, know you are not alone. As the journey ebbs and flows as you take one step forward and three backward, remember there are glimpses of light reflecting off of the saints in your life who are carrying part of your burden. When you can't pray, ask someone to intercede for you. And soon enough you will recall those stones of remembrance, times when God was faithful in your life. Little pokes of light will sharply fill your eyes, your soul with courage to move on. And the end of the tunnel, where you are headed may not even be close...The finish line may be a ways away but remember, you do not walk in isolation...there are fireflies there in the cave with you flickering light all around, whispering the hope of God's faithfulness into your soul...know they are there with you but mostly know, God is there working all things together for your good.
"God is light and in Him there is no darkness at all" 1 John 1:5