Thursday, June 17, 2010
Where does the time go?
I can't believe that today was the last day of 1st and 3rd grades for my boys. An array of emotions have rushed through me throughout the last several hours. I am so happy that summer has begun and just plain astonished that the boys are growing so fast.
I don't know how the last few months have gotten away with me! Hockey is over and baseball has begun! The boys also had their very first piano recital last week. They both did amazing! Micah played "Singing In the Rain" and Jonah played "Rock Around the Clock". Both of them walked right up to the piano, sat down and knocked it out, no qualms about it! I sat back and soaked it all in. They made me a proud mama.
My children never cease to astound me. They fill up my heart with such joy. I am thrilled and excited to have them home for the summer.
We leave for our annual vacation the day after tomorrow. I am reminded of when I started writing this blog almost two years ago when my husband wasn't able to come with us. I am so thankful that we are all able to go as a family together this year. So easily I forget how grateful I should be for that!
As I prepare for this vacation I am reminded of my spiritual trek. Recently I have learned that a lot of people come to a fork in the road between the ages of 30 and 60 where they realize that everything they have been working towards in life just returns void. Whether it be success, material goods, happiness or a perfect little family that was the goal, when achieved the satisfaction was just not quite there. Some people refer to what happens as a "mid-life crisis". What follows is referred to in a book I'm reading as the "Second Journey" in life.
Circumstances and spiritual awakenings in my soul have prompted me to this time in my own life. I feel like God is calling me to begin a new walk with Him. As I take the first steps I feel Him asking me to throw off all of the garbage that has been crippling my walk and weighing me down. I hear His gentle voice urging me to cast all of my baggage upon Him. He whispers to me,
"Remember I suffered for this. I bled for all of it. Every inch of your sin. I died for it, remember? It's mine, not yours. I paid the price, over 2000 years ago. Why are you holding onto any bit of it and lugging it around like it's yours to carry? Don't you remember? I defeated death and rose on the third day, all for you and your sin. Because your Father in Heaven loved you more than you'll ever fathom. How can you lug around this burden, this guilt? Don't you trust me? Don't you feel my love? My grace? My victory over death? I didn't die in vain so why are you treating me like I did? Let it go. Cast all of your cares upon me, that's what I died for!"
And so it begins, this second journey we'll call it. Today I take the first step of faith toward my all forgiving, mercy abounding Jesus who calls me God's adopted daughter. I will trust that He will not let go of my hand as I reach up.