Saturday, March 31, 2012

Five Minute Friday: Gift

This life is a gift that so often I toss to the curb.  All too often I spend my time, waste my time hoarding up trash that only needs to be dragged out on Monday morning with the rest of the trash piled up high in the city appointed brown bins bursting full from a growing family. 

Instead of holding onto moments, I hurriedly rush by and move onto the next...

How I long to cherish these sacred times, instead of whizzing by in a hurried and frantic frenzy rushing to pick up and drop off...

Pushing the pedal to arrive promptly to the next sporting event or piano practice.

Oh but what a cherished treasure....

A gift that has been granted to me from up above, in the form of these three beings who look up to me and yearn for my approval...for my acceptance...for my love.

And in return as hard and grueling as it may sometimes be, I am grateful from a place down deep for these three sacred beings who are the best gift any mama could ever ask for...

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Stalker Mom

They run out to the van after the bell rings and ask.  Eyes twinkling bright at me reflecting rays of sunshine on an  unusually warm Michigan March afternoon.  Backpacks are tossed through the sliding doors and I nod nervously to go ahead.  I wait as they make their way down the sidewalk toward the elderly crossing guard.  They shrink down and far out of my sight and knots twist in my gut.  Throwing the van in drive I roll down the pavement and catch up.  Spotting them ahead I breathe in and the tension fades.  As I pass them I watch in the rear view mirror and can see the springs in their steps.  They are practically skipping home.  I know that they are pleased with this new found bit of freedom.  I know that they wanted to walk home all by themselves without a stalker mom rolling by and checking up on them.  I think about this as I put it in park at the busy intersection and wait for them to cross.  I have to make sure no one runs them over. Ayla asks what we are doing from her booster chair in the back.  I mumble some reply as the minutes pass and they make their way down the long street to the corner.  Micah sees me and turns around and smiles, he waves.  Jonah just keeps on a trekking not daring to glance my way.  I tell myself he is growing up, coming into his own.  He's a tween after all.   He just watched the puberty video at school.  My stomach churns when I think about it.  I don't want to let them go.  I want to hold on tight and keep them in my little bubble so badly, but I know that I can't.  After I make sure nobody has ran a stop sign and splattered either one of them all over the road I drive down to my house and up the driveway.  They aren't far behind but I glance down the sidewalk to make sure they weren't abducted by the park entrance.  Wasn't I just pushing them in the double stroller down that same sidewalk?   The sun shines hard and my heart shines big for these two boys who come bouncing safe and sound up the drive.  Home at last.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Beautiful Noise

The full and florescent white moon ball beams in the front window and the house is finally quiet.

Just a little while ago these wooden floors were echoing loud with activity.  He tells me that we surely must have the loudest house in the city and we both crack up because we know it's probably true.  Jonah blows out his notes into his trumpet and I pluck on the piano.  Micah and Ayla argue over what channel to watch as the television blares in the background.  His speaker phone is playing elevator music as he waits for his work's help desk to iron out computer problems.

My day was filled with busy noise.  The boys had a half day of school for parent teacher conferences.  Ayla and I had piano.  The boys had dentist appointments.  It was quite the juggling act, I may be recruited for the circus if  I don't watch out!

And now their little heads are cushioned with soft pillows and their eyes are fluttering as they enter into dreamworld.  The noise is muted for a few cherished hours. I smile to myself as I breathe in the silence.  A low hum of the gas fireplace and the tapping of the keys is all I can hear.   I relish in the solitude and contentment of this very monment and refuse to allow the regrets of the day to creep in.  I inhale the air full into my lungs and instead allow my savior to push out any guilt lurking in the dark corners of my soul.  The day is done and tomorrow the sun will radiate it's light upon a brand new canvas waiting to be filled with all kinds of beautiful noise.