Thursday, June 16, 2011

A New Song

I originally posted this entry on November 11, 2008

Psalm 40
I waited patiently for the Lord;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God,
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the LORD.

Over and over the last few days I have had this Psalm in my head. I have been listening to this song called 40 by U2 that quotes this scripture. Bono repeats throughout the chorus, "I will sing, sing a new song...How long to sing this song? How long to sing this song? How long? How long? How long to sing this song?"

My God has lifted me up out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire. He has set my feet on a rock, the strongest, firmest of rocks, my Lord Jesus Christ. He has put a new song in my mouth for me to sing. But how long will it be until I sing the song he has put there?

How long?

How long to sing this song?

How long will it take for me to die to myself and live for my God?

How long will it take for my life to become a beautiful hymn of praise that brings many to trust in the LORD?

How long?

I don't know. What I do know is that my Lord is composing a new melody right at this very moment as I submit to Him and bow down my heart at His nail-scarred feet. What I do know, and have been reminded of today, is that my Jesus sees my submission to Him and reports it directly to His Father. What I do know is that my life can become a new song of praise to my God, because I have the highest of high priests interceding directly for me, on my behalf. What I do know is that my God has "redeemed my life from the pit and crowned me with love and compassion" (Psalm 103:4-5)! What I do know is this different song, this new song's introduction can begin as soon as I accept the fact that my God has pulled me up out of the depths of my sin and set me on firm ground and has mercifully filled me with His love and His compassion.

How long to sing this song? As soon as I accept...only then will I sing a new song!

Monday, June 13, 2011


What a man I am married to...

He loves the outdoors.  Tells me casting a line is almost spiritual for him...

He loves is his favorite.  "GIVE BLOOD, PLAY HOCKEY"  if you know what I mean...

He's a guy's guy.

The opposite of a metro-sexual  (which drives me nuts being a hairstylist and all...) and hates to dress up but has to wear a suit and drive off to work clean shaven everyday.

But tonight, his true deep love for me surfaced and peeked out it's beautiful face.

Because tonight game 6 of the Stanley Cup Finals were being intently watched by those magnificent eyes that still make my heart melt...

And NO the Red Wings were not playing but YES he was excited to see...

And my sweet, sweet man who has been cultured above and beyond he ever signed up for or thought he would be, I'm sure, through this crazy girl...

He not only lets me turn the channel to PBS and catch the very end of the Les Miserables 25th Anniversary Tribute... (which happens to be on the very top of my "favorite things" at the moment...)

He actually sang along and smiled all the while missing the end of Game 6.

(The poor guy has been dragged to 3 Broadway performances of this particular musical since he met me)

And all I can say is that I'm blown away!!

He really does LOVE me!!!

1 Corinthians 13:4–8a
(New International Version)
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. (NIV)

Sunday, June 12, 2011

New Chapters

We woke up to a cold and overcast typical Michigan winter morning mid-December 2007.  Just like most Sundays, our family piled into the mini-van and drove to church.  We had been quite busy.  We moved just a couple of weeks prior into a new house that was only a few blocks away from our previous dwelling.  Ayla was only nine months old.  Jonah had turned seven in the beginning of the month and Micah was four.  And on this particular day, things had gone quite smoothly.  I don't remember much about the church service so I'm guessing it was quite normal.  After worship we dined on delectable breakfast food at our routine Sunday morning restaurant.  On the ride home, not only were the kids unusually quiet and relaxed, I was as well.  We turned onto the main side street to take us to our house which happened to be the same street of our prior home.  Three to four blocks and two stops signs later, Joe taps the left turn signal on and we pull up in the driveway.  Joe looks at me, and I look at him and we are both thinking the same thing,

"Who's car is that in our driveway?"

And then it hits us like a fist right in the gut.  We accidentally pulled up into the drive of our old house.  We all busted out in laughter but my heart was twisted in two. Memories of our five years gushed into light.  Jonah toddling barefoot on the wooden floors with a saggy diaper.  Staring out the window at the budding dogwood in spring while rocking my bundled new-born Micah to sleep. Recollections of our narrow Christmas tree lit in the picture window and blazing autumn bon-fires in the cedar lined yard.  Visions of Micah coloring on our enclosed porch and bringing Ayla home from the hospital in late March with unusually warm weather.  Walking my first-grade Jonah across the street to his elementary school with that brand-new back pack strapped behind him on a perfectly sunny September morning....

Flashes darting in my head.

And there we sat in our old driveway for a moment stopped in time and as Joe shifted gears into reverse my thoughts shifted back to our new house.

My eyes focused on the road in front of us and I realized that a chapter of our life was now written and we had many blank pages ahead to fill.

And as I sit here now, four years later, I think about how much of the time I long to re-write my past.  Erase the mistakes and start over.  Instead of being thankful for the mess-ups I beat myself up and stay stuck in the swamp of guilt.

Oh how I need to remember that those chapters are closed and lessons can surely be learned and moments remembered and cherished but the fresh ink of this day is waiting to mark the page.  

And my God, my savior, who is the author and finisher of my faith is right here with me waiting to write my story with me.

The question is will I loosen my tightly clenched fingers and surrender the pen over to His ever-present hand and allow Him to make my ugly into something beautiful?

Will I allow Him to make my story all about His-story?

His story that is one of grace and redemption and love and turning the other cheek and giving until it hurts?

His story that denies myself and puts others first?

His story in which the last are first and the least are the greatest?

Only through His Spirit can I say yes.

"Yes Lord, make my story all about you and your ways, help me to forgive others as you have forgiven me and fill me with love for the unlovely.  Thank you for your unstoppable, never ending, unchanging constant love that never gives up on me."

Let the writing begin.