Hidden Treasure

A new "Home Goods" opened up less than a mile away from our house a couple of years ago.  If anyone reading this has ever had the opportunity to tread the shiny woodish floors laid out in one of these amazing stores I'm sure you can attest and agree that it can be downright dangerous to live almost within stone's throw of one.

They really should hang a big "BEWARE" sign posted in large font on the burnt-orange metal framed shiny glass enclosure.

"BEWARE"  this store can make you dizzy.

I get so dizzy in there.  My head spins and I cannot concentrate  because there is SO much to take in.


I am overwhelmed.

I walk in and my dilated pupils try to focus.  My heart starts to pound and then it happens...

Flashes of black dart in front of my eyes.  I close them and take a deep breath.  Slowly....carefully....calmly I lift open my lids and try to focus.

THUMP, THUMP, THUMP....

I feel my blood pressure increase slightly.

I am not kidding around.  I am totally serious.  I get so darned excited when I step inside.

What will I find?

What hidden treasure is waiting for me today?

It could be as simple as a candle or a cake-stand.

Or as grand as a chaise or chest of drawers.

Deep breath.

Focus.

Slowly I browse.  Aisle by aisle.

Heart fluttering and all, I stop and pick up each possible purchase, examine thoroughly (mama taught me well) and then look at price tag (most important part, mama, I know).

Either I return it to shelf or place in cart with countless ideas floating in my head of what I can do with this or that.

Where will this new item fit in my house to make it more of a home?

My mama had a deep heart for making her house a home and I have inherited that passion.

Even though she was always EXTREMELY frugal... she was always EXTRAORDINARILY creative as well.

Even though I am still embarrassed of  her trash-picking Jenny Lind beds in our sweet Astro-mini van back in the 80's....(thank God for tinted windows).

I digress...

Back to the store...

Heart fluttering.

Head spinning.

Does this excitement, this emotion flood my being when I reach for that precious already owned book on my shelf at home?

Does my heart pound when I gaze upon the leather-bound, gold-trimmed pages?

What treasures lie inside?

What life-changing, house made home waiting information is scribed upon each God-breathed page?

What words of wisdom are waiting to work their way into my wayfaring heart?

I have tread upon these floors before and I have to warn you:

"BEWARE"...may cause dizziness or blurred-vision and simple or grand hidden-treasure will be waiting.  

The Light of the World

Last night we had a Passover dinner.

Later when the guests left and the kitchen was all cleaned up Ayla gazed into the flame of the candle and told me,

"I can see Jesus in there"

What a great reminder

"God is light and in Him there is no darkness." (1 John 1:5)

GOOD Friday?? BAD Friday??

On "Good Friday" I never feel GOOD

As a matter of fact I almost always feel BAD

Unworthy

Shameful

Wretched

And puzzled as to why 

God in all of His glory would have left his throne in heaven...

Confused as to why He

"made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness." (Phil 2:7)

Knowing He would be

"despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering." (Isiah 53: 3)

Knowing He would be

"oppressed and afflicted...led like a lamb to the slaughter." (Isiah 53: 7)

Baffled that He would be

"pierced for our transgressions...crushed for our iniquities" (Isiah 53: 5)

Yet in this same passage I am reminded 

"By His wounds we are healed" (Isiah 53: 5)

In Him all of my BAD is made GOOD

All of my iniquities

Every bit of 

Shame

Unworthiness

Wretchedness

has been healed for

"By His wounds we are healed"

No Use Crying Over Spilled Milk

Mornings and I don't work too well together.

I am a night owl.

The quiet solitude of a sleeping house is music to my ears.  However, this cherished time flies by all too quickly and most evenings I find myself extending each treasured minute, keeping my stinging eyes open doing crazy stuff like reading a book or surfing the web instead of getting the shut-eye they need.

This morning was rough just like most.

I poured Ayla some milk.  She has been drinking unsweetened almond milk that I sweeten with agave nectar.  I went into my lazy-susan in the corner cabinet where I keep all of my baking foods to get out the nectar.    I squirted it into her cup and she was under my feet playing around in the cabinet.

And I spilled the milk all over my $5.00 bag of unbleached organic flour (wide-open, unclosed) and the rest of the supplies in my cabinet and the doors, rug, etc.

And even though "there's no use crying over spilled milk", I almost could have cried.

Ayla looked at me and said,"Good thing that wasn't my fault."

And then I wanted to cry even more.

Because my 4 year old already knows how I react to her spills.  And obviously my reaction isn't good.

Tears well up in my eyes as I ask her to please move out of the way.

Pools flood out of her sweet blues as she cries and asks,  "Are you mad at me?"

More tears on both of our faces.

"Of course I'm not mad at you and I don't want you to ever think that I am when you spill something."

I wrap her up in my arms and hold on tight.  I tuck her dangled curl behind her ear and stare into those precious blue gems...

And I wonder...why in the all of the world He has chosen me?

This broken, messed up, easily angered over spilled milk woman to be her mama?

And I remember that I am not alone.

I am not the only mama who feels like she has failed.

I am not the only one who cries over spilled milk.

And I remember that my God is the God who sees me, no matter how trivial.

"And even the hairs on your head are all numbered" Matthew 10:30


WOW!  As a hairstylist I know that everyone sheds a certain number of hairs per day.  That number varying during pregnancy and after having a baby or because of medication, thyroid problems, etc.  Not to mention medications or certain treatments for diseases or haircuts which involve the thinning of one's hair or texturizing as we hairstylists like to refer to it...

He knows every hair on my head.

He sees that intricately.

And I am reminded that He sees my heart as well.  And I LOVE my children.

"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins" 1Peter 4:8


What a relief!