Tonight I washed a few potatoes and sliced them skinny layering them in a baking dish.
As I cut into the second to last one I realized the whole potato wouldn't fit in the glass pan.
Half of the potato was wasted and normally I would just toss it in the trash without thinking twice.
But tonight, I stopped dead in my tracks and almost lost it in the middle of preparing dinner for my family who never skips a meal let alone goes a whole day without food.
Images of starving children worldwide filled my mind as I held the wet halved root vegetable in my hand, this hand that has never been empty of any of life's needs.
I thought of Sajin, our sponsored child in India (through Compassion) and glanced at the picture we received last week in the mail of him with his new birthday present he was able to buy from the money we sent.
No it wasn't a bike, or a game system or a pair of customized Reebok Zig Techs...No, Sajin didn't receive the latest and greatest sought after items like my spoiled children do...like I do...
Instead, Sajin bought a goat and her kid for his birthday present from us.
My heart is heavy and my hand is filled with much, too much...
This life we live and all of our stuff...overfilled stomachs, overfilled house, overfilled garage...
And Sajin gets a goat and kid for a birthday.
Who am I to ever be dissatisfied and ungrateful?
Who am I not to dig deeper and give more?
Not only monetarily but also of my time?
The words of a Keith Green song are ringing loudly tonight
"To obey is better than sacrifice, I don't want your money I want your life"
And I hand my guilt over to my God in Heaven whose hand will never let go and never give up on me...but who will always remind me that this life is not my own...
"Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. – Matthew 16:24-25