Bonds

I step outside into the dampened night air.  My toes touch the wet pavement and I inhale deeply as the wind dances above me, rustling the tree tops.  There is a calmness to the night and I find the coolness in the air invigorating as I close my eyes and take another breath.  I gaze across the street and see the Johnson's darkened house tucked in tight for the night, I'm sure...

Earlier in the evening as the moon made it's way to our little area of the world, my only daughter and I walked home from my parents' home, six houses away, down the street to our house.   And on the way, I told her a bit about my childhood. I shared with her how Grandma H. used to let me spend the night at her house which was two doors down from mine, even on school nights, she let me...I tell her.   I told her how she would make me whatever I wanted for breakfast the next day and she would plan it out the night before as I laid next to her in her double blue bedded bed.  And my sweet Ayla looked up at me and let me know that she has heard this story before...


And as we make our way across the park entrance, blackened with no light but that from the moon, I let her know of my fears.  I shared with my darling girl how I ran past the park on many darkened nights with a stomach churning fast on my way over to my spend the night at my best friend, Amy's (Johnson's) house.  She lived across the street from the scary park and four houses over.  I always crossed at the crosswalk. I never strayed too far from the sidewalk and lets just say... crosswalks have always been a MUST with me!

I pointed out to her where I crossed and told her how fast I ran, and she smiled bright as we turned up our driveway.  And as we walk upward to our place we call home I quietly offer up a prayer that  she will someday have a friend as dear as I did.  A friend who will be always waiting with a lightened porch and a kindred, sacred bond that lasts throughout the years.  

As the stillness of the night settles in and the crickets make their melodious music, I pray for my darling sister-less daughter.  I ask that she will find a friend, a good friend who loves her more like a sister and will always be there for her through thick and thin.  And while whispering these words, my heart is filled with gratitude for the grace that God has lavished upon me through the bond of friendship.  I thank Him for the "picking up where we left off" moments and for the soundboards of the daily grinds....

A car speeds by with the bass blaring and I gaze down at the yellow begonias beneath my feet snapping me back into the hear and now.  Jonah will be driving one of those cars in four short years and my annuals need watering first thing in the morning, despite the fresh dew dripping from their petals.   But tonight I have been reminded of the sacredness of life-long friendships and how precious they are.

Time will pass and life will go on, but the bonds we make while growing up will always be....

W.I.I.F.M.? Sundaes-vs-Suffering

Most nights this past week, I woke up around 4 am and tossed and turned restlessly until sunrise.

You see my sweet Jonah was away at church camp and this mama was missing him badly...and if you don't know me... well, just click here...

We all were so excited to see him.  Micah had a stomach ache for a few days when he was away and I am convinced that it wasn't a virus but instead his gut was aching for his big brother.  Every night before bed, he and I would sit in front of the computer screen and scroll through hundreds of pictures that were so graciously posted daily and search diligently for a glimpse of our Jonah.  Whenever his face would grace the page, Micah would beam bright and look at me and tell me how much he missed him...

And now he is finally home!

And I asked him if he cried at all and he told me yes...only when he was worshiping Jesus...(not missing his mama...ahem.  But seriously, that alone made up for all of the sleepless nights...)

So tonight we had a special service at church dedicated to camp...

Kids were asked to share about their experiences...Both sets of grandparents even attended...supporting Jonah.

So after the sermon, they invited the campers to come up front for worship...

Jonah bolted straight to the front and I turned to Micah and asked him if he wanted to go as well...

And I should tell you that they had already made an announcement about having ice cream downstairs after the service...

Micah looks up at me and I ask him,

"Do you want to go up front?"  (even though he hadn't attended camp, I thought he might like to...)

He looks at me with those huge puppy dog eyes and so innocently asks,

"If we go up front, do we get more ice cream?"

And after telling him, no and that I didn't think so...I got to thinking...

The whole,

as my husband likes to put it...W.I.I.F.M....

(I guess this is an acronym used nowadays out in the business world...)

A.K.A..."What's in it for me?"  mentality hits not too far from home...

And it may not be ice cream that is in it for me...

And it also doesn't matter that he did have two bowls,  mind you....

What does matter is that I tend to do things, most of the time, expecting something in return...

This full-grown woman... who knows better...unfortunately...

most of the time tends to "DO" to "GET"

"GIVE" to "RECEIVE"

How often do I sacrifice a piece of my time or a bit of my money...only to expect a blessing in return?

And what is the ice-cream blessing that I am craving?

Sometimes....recognition?

Sometimes...a clean conscience?

Sometimes...approval? 

Whatever the case may be, I am seeking a satisfying earthly dessert topped with lots of cherries and whipped cream...

And isn't our calling quite the contrary?

"FOR IT HAS BEEN GRANTED TO YOU ON BEHALF OF CHRIST NOT ONLY TO BELIEVE IN HIM, BUT ALSO TO SUFFER FOR HIM"  Phil. 1:29


And most of the time suffering does not include trophies or ice-cream sundaes...

What suffering does offer is a deeper faith in a very real GOD...

And that is more priceless than any reward I could ever fathom...even Sander's Hot Fudge, which is saying a lot!!

Significantly Small

We climb like two monkeys up the steep sand dune.  The view is incredible but the trek is exhausting not only our limbs but also our lungs.

And the vastness of the crystal blue lake reflecting the rich hues of the sky above, is held in by tree-lined bluffs almost protectively like a mother holding her precious baby.

As I gaze down the dune the people beneath us look so small like little ants climbing their hills and I feel tiny in comparison to this great creation and just as I am thinking this, feeling so insignificant amidst this grandness...

Micah picks up a handful of sand and slowly pours it on the ground and with a full grin looks at me and says,

"He knows how many grains of sand there are, Mom."

His eyes are large and filled with amusement at his own words.

"Isn't that cool?" He asks.

I smile back at him and pick up a handful of sand, amazed at the numbered grains gracing my palm.  I look into those big brown eyes of his as we continue to climb and let his declaration resonate deep.

Sand sprinkles down out of my grasp and I pat him on the top of his head and am reminded of another truth,

"Even the hairs on your head are all numbered." I tell him as I tell myself...

Small we may be, but insignificant we are not when we choose to serve a very big God...

A very big God who is never too big to see us...

'(Hagar) gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her "You are the God who sees me"'(Genesis 16:13a)

Feeling a new sense of purpose we make our way to the top. He high-fives me and I grab him and rub his head.

"For I know the plans I have for you" declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future" Jeremiah 29:11


"Why, even the hairs on your head are all numbered, fear not you are of more value than many sparrows" Luke 12:7

I'm Gonna Be Like Him...

I really couldn't ask for a better father for my children. Joe is absolutely AMAZING with them. Just before I was about to have Jonah, he told me that he was going to spend special time with him everyday. And even when life gets hectic and chaotic, I have to say, Joe takes time each and everyday to give each one of our little ones quality "daddy-time". Whether it be playing catch, roller-blading, looking at baseball/hockey cards or painting Ayla's nails, he makes every effort to be with them on a daily basis.

Remember the song "Cats in the Cradle" by Harry Chapin?

My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say "I'm gonna be like you dad
You know I'm gonna be like you"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon                                            
When you comin' home dad?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

My son turned ten just the other day
He said, "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let's play
Can you teach me to throw", I said "Not today
I got a lot to do", he said, "That's ok"
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

Well, he came home from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
"Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head and said with a smile
"What I'd really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please?"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

I've long since retired, my son's moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind"
He said, "I'd love to, Dad, if I can find the time
You see my new job's a hassle and kids have the flu
But it's sure nice talking to you, Dad
It's been sure nice talking to you"

And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me
My boy was just like me

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

(scroll down to bottom of page to listen...)

Joe never wanted to be like the man in that song. I am so thankful to my heavenly Father for my better half who gives 110% of himself to our kiddies. They are so blessed to have a daddy who not only loves to be with them but also is extremely patient with them as well.

His love for his children is unquestionable.

Hopefully one day they will all want to be like him...

The Dance

Ayla had her first dance recital on Sunday.  She was absolutely adorable.  However after practicing all year long perfectly in class, I think she got a little bit of stage fright under the big top auditorium.  She kept glancing over to stage right where Miss Megan must have been doing the motions.

As I was watching her watch her teacher I realized a couple of things about my darling girl.   The first thing is that she is a rule follower.  And I do believe she takes after her mama in that way.  Just like Kelly Clarkson I never strayed too far from the sidewalk, LITERALLY!  My mom told me to always ride my bike on the sidewalk and by golly I did.  I was scared to death to ride in the street next to the cars and trucks that could take me out in a second flat.

I also figured out that my little girl just may not be cut out for Broadway.  Which is quite disappointing to me because I really had her pinned as a diva in the making.  But unfortunately, her stage presence is quite lacking but some of that may be due to the fact that she forgot most of her moves because of her nervousness.

As her tutu twirled under the spotlight, I almost felt as if I were up on stage right with her worrying over pointing the proper toes and twisting the right way.   And how often am I like her in my own life?  How many times have all eyes been on me watching intently to see if I will mess up the dance?  The pressure of a dark audience and all of their opinions of the production can sometimes be too much.  And unfortunately my eyes aren't fixed on my teacher like they need to be.  But instead they are gazing out into the darkened audience looking to please the crowd instead of the instructor and creator of the dance who is right there on the sidelines going through the motions and showing me the way.

Isn't that what Jesus did when He came here to live on this earth?  Didn't he choreograph the dance and show us the motions?  Why do I constantly look to the crowd who is literally sitting in the dark  for approval instead of the one in charge?

Why do I repeatedly forget that I am dancing for an audience of one?  One God, three persons....

HE is the only one I should ever aim to please.

And how amazing is it that He...God almighty... who made himself flesh...?

"And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth" (John 1:14)

He has set the example...


"...full of grace and truth"


 And He is right there next to me directing this dance of my life...

May I dance mightily...

And let it be filled with grace and truth honoring only HIM!

"And David danced before the Lord with all of his might..." (2 Samuel 6:14)

Remembering (from 2012)

I never blogged about this last year so thought today would be a good day to remember...

Last Memorial Day our city unveiled war monuments in front of the library containing the names of each and every soldier from the city who died while fighting for our freedom.  Each stone represents a different war.  The ceremony followed a parade and as the tarps were lifted, taps was played and gunshots were fired.

Our family gathered in the crowd to honor and remember my dad's brother Gary who lost his life in Vietnam. 

  

The ceremony was beautiful and as the soldiers saluted many tears trickled in the crowd.  Years may pass but families and friends will never forget the sacrifice of a loved one's life.  I am proud of our city for helping us all remember to recognize and pay tribute to the memory of each soldier from Trenton, Michigan who flew or sailed far across seas and into foreign lands to fight for our freedom and in doing so lost their lives.  

We are remembering today!  

This is one of the letters my uncle wrote home to his pastor while serving in Vietnam:

24 Sept. 1967
Dear Rev. Jones,

You'll have to excuse me if I started this letter wrong, cause it's the first time to a man of the Gospel. I really don't know what to say, but I'll try anyway.

To get things straight, my name is Gary W. Holbrook, son of Mr. and Mrs. Garrett Holbrook, 2216 Grange Rd. Trenton. If you will remember I talked with you a few times before I left for Vietnam.

I guess that most people getting letters from the men in Vietnam, would like to know a little about what it's like over here. This is the way I think of Vietnam.

The mountains are beautiful even if they are Vietnam mountains, and the water in the rice paddies is so clear you can see yourself in them. The sun is like a great light that never ceases to let you know it's always on the job. And at night the beauty of this far eastern country is unexplainable. I guess you might say it's like one of Walt Disney's Kodak Colored Pictures. That's what Vietnam appears to be like. Only God and the men that are over here giving up their lives truly know what Vietnam is like. to them it is always hot, wet, muddy, and above all lonely. All the outward looks of beauty that pertain to Vietnam's landscape and Vietnamese people is just a falsehood which hides death or destruction behind every bush or from the vast low banks of the lonely green paddies. During the day when the sun is shining brightly above and sending life to this ever expanding vastness of green foliage and jungle terrain. The fighting man must be especially leery because from these beautiful grass lands and majestic jungles there are those who would take his life if given the chance.

During the night when all is still and peace seems all around you, (for Vietnam doth truly seem peaceful at night) once again you find the American fighting man awake and waiting, for during these hours of blissful peace and constancy is when the enemy takes advantage of our fighting men, for at these beautiful times he sometimes lets his mind wander back to his loved ones far across the ocean, he asks himself, "Is it all worth it, being over here amongst all this beauty which is only a front for death?" He asks himself, "Is the price of peace and happiness for his loved ones too dear to pay with his life?" All these questions and many more run through these brave young mens' minds and there is still the same answers with God on our side and us being a free people and believing in Him, He will stand by our side no matter what the price. For I'm an American fighting man and will do my best to serve my God and my country. And although Vietnam is truly beautiful, it is just as deadly and even more so lonely for the American fighting man. Well I guess that's enough of my philosophy about Vietnam.

Well Reverend, I guess there really isn't much more to say except that I'm pretty sure I am not the only one that has a strong and compassionate feeling for Nam and it's people. I would certainly appreciate it if you would pray for all of us over here, and maybe some Sunday you could give a sermon on Vietnam, so people can do a little more about it then just say, "Well Vietnam's way over there and I am over here." I believe they should be made to realize that there is a little of each of us over here living and dying to help us all free and save, for tomorrow the sun will surly shine on a free and God-fearing people. I will also send you my address in case there are a few people in the church that might want to write. Thank you very much for listening to my problems. I only hope God heard them as well.

L/Cpl. Gary W. Holbrook U.S.M.C.

P.S. Feel free to tell others what I wrote, maybe it will give them a better understanding of what goes on over here. 

Five Minute Friday: Opportunity

IT's 5 Minute Friday....been a while but gonna give it a go....

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community.

OK, are you ready? Give me your best five minutes on:

::

Opportunity…

Opportunity knocks...or so the saying goes...

But unfortunately many children who play sports today don't get an opportunity at all...

Coaches are worried about winning games instead of developing skill and building confidence.

Players are pinned at an extremely young age as bench warmers or starters...

Today I am counting my blessings and whispering up thanks for our middle boy's baseball coach...

Who after two games, I can already tell is all about opportunity for every player...

We may not win all of the games....may not come close by a long shot!

But two nights ago my sweet boy was glowing after he had an opportunity to stand on the mound and throw some hard balls in a game...

Thankfully someone opened the door of opportunity for him and in doing so allowed some confidence to build up big...

 3 UP.......3 DOWN!

...and the smile on his face after was priceless!!!