Friday, October 11, 2013

Five Minute Friday: Ordinary

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My big sister who is two years older and a lot more comfortable in her own skin was voted "Class Individual" her senior year of high school.  She was the opposite of ordinary.  She rode her bike to school and wore bell bottoms in the 90's before they were back in style.  She loved her straw hat and in her free time enjoyed frolicking in the sparse woods that lined the small city we lived in.  I on the other hand yearned to be the ordinary.  To fit in and mesh with all the other brand named kids gracing the halls of our blue and gold themed school.  I wanted to find acceptance in the in-crowd and be well-liked.  I guess part of it was my middle child people pleasing personality.  All I ever wanted was to be accepted but how afraid I was to show the real me.  If other kids found out who I really was underneath the cheerleading uniform and curled hair, I was worried they would reject me.  I was always a good girl but not too good to slip into the crowd.

And still I struggle with this.  Despite the fact that I am a 35 year old woman married and raising three children, I still worry way too much of what others around me think.  I am consumed so much of the time, whether it be through technology or actual human relationships with my peers, coworkers, church-goers, etc.  that I have offended and not pleased the other person.  I read into Facebook posts and Twitters and think, "Are they talking to me?"  How often do I measure self-worth through "likes" and comments.  And why am I intimidated of people who are typing and hiding behind computer screens who can't just pick up the phone and call me if there is a problem or conflict?

Why can't I just be more like my big sis who still isn't afraid to take a stand for what she believes in?  People pleasing can be a dangerous thing.  And I am done.  Ready to face the unordinary head on.  


benbidder said...

Do it...get that ordinary and kick it to the curb. :)
I am ordinary...but yet I am totally different. IF that makes any sense.
Sometimes I don't want to be ordinary any more and I do something wacky..or just do something a different way. It makes life interesting a little anyway!
I will look forward to reading your blog! :)

Amber Cadenas said...

Emily, I really like your honesty here as you continue to wrestle with this people-pleasing. It's so hard, isn't it, especially with all this social media? And you're right. There is an ordinary that just wants to fit in; and there's an ordinary that embraces the beauty of what is, seeking to live even those moments full-hearted. I agree with Ben - you can be different and ordinary at the same time. And you can do it without being weighted down by what people think. So, you go, girl. I want that for me, too.