2011 Recapped

Remembering this past year and looking forward to many more beautiful memories to create in 2012!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

Purging

Tonight Ayla and I  cleaned out her bedroom.  We purged of old toys and organized the left overs and added in the new Christmas gifts.

Unlike me, Ayla has no problem making room for the new and saying good bye to the old. 

 On more than one occasion this evening I had to ask her over again if she was sure that she didn't want to hold on to a certain item.  I mean what if she wanted it on a rainy day?  Or even worse, what if she regretted making a quick decision to toss a trinket that could one day be a treasure?

If she were at all like her mama, she would be torn over parting with her belongings and be frazzled and worried about where she was going to stash them making sure it was somewhere hidden like a drawer or closet that could be pushed shut tight in a crunch situation like unexpected guests...

After my sweet husband took down the donation bags to the garage for me, I decided to dust the cobwebs out of the corners of the ceilings and off of the overhead lights.  A simple task I haven't tackled in (ahem....) 4 years!  

And as I was ridding my high corners of sticky cobwebs an all too familiar section of scripture popped into this not-so-natural-blonde head of mine...

Matthew 6:19-21

    ¹⁹ “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. ²⁰ But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. ²¹ For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

This scripture has been in my head also because...

In October we came home from a hockey weekend away and noticed quite a few moths in our house.  Over the next few weeks they multiplied and were EVERYWHERE!!!  We got some moth traps and I cleaned out my cupboards but every night we would continue to see them flying around.  I finally got some moth balls and that seemed to help. (Thank you God, even if the smell of mothballs is HORRIFIC!!!)   

I continued to clean out corners...

And it dawned on me that...

I want to hold on to this comfortable life of mine all too often grasping at empty pleasures that I stash away and hide, shoving in stuffed drawers and closets busting at the seams when I feel the presence of God show up unexpectedly in my life.

And what am I holding onto?  This life and all of it's hoarding and stashing are just diversions and obstacles that seem to trip me up constantly.   Whether I am pushing my pride in a corner or hiding a habit in the closet.  I need to purge and say good bye to certain things that I am hoarding.  I need to tie them up tight in a garbage bag and donate them right at the feet of the only One in whom there is true freedom!  

Because there are new mercies waiting to fill up all of that empty space that has been freed up in the deep dark closets of my soul!

As this year comes to a close and a new one is approaching I hope to cling hard and fast to the unfailing love of a God who never gives up on anyone but continually shows up in the shadows and corners of each and every life flooding His never-ending light into every nook and cranny and exposing only Himself and the grace that He alone offers!

Exalt or Insult?

Dimmed lights and lit candles flicker glowing yellow and brightening up the dark house as the snow flurries dance lightly out the window.

It's my favorite time of day...a quieted house and our family gathered around the table celebrating advent together, rejoicing and anticipating the coming of Christ, remembering His immaculate conception and entrance into a lost and dying world.

Reflecting on our sin, my sin and thanking Him for His amazing grace.

That's the picture I have in my mind.  The children are all quiet and deer-eyed, waiting to praise and learn and hold onto their siblings' hands tight as they bow their heads and pray perfectly....

HAHAHAHA!!! LOL!!! (and I mean belly-deep!!)

Instead, I tell them all that we are going to light the candle.  It's time to gather and reflect...

They all come running but they are arguing over who gets to light the candle...who gets to blow it out...

As they take their seats, more arguments over who is touching who and dirty looks are blazing back and forth and my perfect little advent time isn't turning out quite so perfect after all...

They argue over who gets to move the donkey with Mary carrying the Christ child in her belly...they almost catch on fire reaching and pulling back and forth over the lit candles.

Eyes are rolling and I am trying to take deep breaths but my heart is racing as my picture perfect vision quickly blurs into this flawed reality of my painted life.

And unfortunately my beating heart escalates and I don't bite my tongue but bite hard with loud words, begging everyone just to behave and be kind and not so quietly tell (yell) at all to "BE QUIET!"

And briefly the mood turns more reverent as the children glance at the glowing ember...

I say a few words, and reference a quick verse or two and end in a song.

We sing "WE EXA---LT THEE" over a few times...

Micah starts to sing,

"THIS INSU---LTS ME,"  instead... 

Instead of the right words and I lose it on him...right there over the lit advent candles...I DEMAND respect...

Not only to me but to our God (who we happen to be exalting, mind you)...

And all hush quiet around the table but my heart wells with grief and guilt as this picture absorbs a much darker hue than anticipated in the first place.

And I can't help but wonder if maybe what I think might be exalting really just may be insulting to my God after all...

Because when I control and try to turn all to exalt under my own pretenses and not His...that is probably just an insult...

When am I going to change me from the inside out?

When am I going to exalt instead of insult?

And He reminds me that in Him and Him alone, the Christ child made flesh and who dwelt among us and who died and was raised from the dead three days later and is now alive and living in all who believe...

He provides the power to exalt instead of insult. 

Him and Him alone...and tonight I choose to cling hard and fast on just that...