The "Fret-Train Express"

With all of the media hype I have found myself falling into the pit of worry about my children's health. Micah came down with a fever last night and Jonah had a low grade one today. My mind immediately began to race and panic set in as I envisioned the most horrible outcome imaginable happening to my precious ones. Because lets face it this whole H1N1 thing has driven people into a fearful, anxious state of mind and I have climbed right on board the "fret-train express"!!

In the blink of an eye I seem to discard all of my hope in my ever present help and I trade it in for a spirit of fear and anxiety. All too quickly I let the prince of this world suck me into this tunnel of worry!

And I know that is not where my God wants his child. I am His! Just like I don't want my little ones to panic or worry about getting sick, I know that my Heavenly Father wants me to rest assured on His everlasting promises. He has hidden His word in my heart for these very times and I have to admit that even though I know I should be, since I quit the Bible Quizzing team in 7th grade I haven't been much of a scripture memorizer.

But here are some verses that have helped me today:

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of sound mind" 1st Timothy 1:7


"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27


"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" Matthew 6:27


"1 God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,

3 though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.
Selah

4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.

5 God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.

6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

7 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress" Psalm 46:1-7

Running, Running, Running

What else is new? We have been going, going, going. My little sister had her beautiful wedding in the beginning of the month. The following weekend we had a tournament in Cleveland for Jonah's hockey team, which they won! (and I have to brag for a second that my sweet Jonah scored the winning goal of a shoot-out in the semi-final game!!!) On Mondays Micah and Jonah both have hockey practice at different times but the same rink, thankfully. On Tuesdays, I work an afternoon shift so that is a free night for Joe. On Wednesdays, Micah has hockey-On Thursdays, Jonah. Fridays are usually free and on Saturdays I work but Micah has hockey-so my wonderful hubby packs up the kids and takes him to his practice or game. Sundays are church and most of the time hockey does not interfere which is so nice for a change and Sunday evenings we have dinner at my in-laws.

Run, run, run. Lately, God has been helping me to cherish the down time that I do have. Today I took Ayla on a walk and gazed at the brilliant blue sky painted with several shades of crisp autumn leaves and took some time to slow down and thank my God for His creation and the beauty of it. I had a little bit of time to step back and breathe in a few moments of unhurried, quiet time. My heart is always racing and I am constantly thinking of what I need to do or what I haven't done and today I was reminded of God's peace in all of that. Once again I felt God's gentle voice urging me to let go of trying to control my life. If I can't trust Him in the little, menial things how in the world am I going to trust Him when my world comes crashing down all around me? I need to give Him everything! And maybe my run will begin to feel more like a slow, peaceful jog!!

A Tame Tongue

Next Saturday is my little sister's wedding. My family of five are all in it. The boys are going to be the ring bearers and Ayla is the flower girl. I'm doing Elizabeth's hair and Ayla's hair, of course, and giving a "matron of honor" speech at the reception. But those are the least of my concerns. I am singing a song at the ceremony and I have been hoarse since June. I thought it was my allergies, the same thing happened last year, but am realizing now that I must have strained my vocal chords somehow. Hmmm, maybe screaming at the hockey rink, or raising my voice at the kids, or talking over the blow-dryers at work, or just talking in general-which I happen to be REALLY good at! I gave my former voice coach a call this morning to give me some tips on what to do. She let me know that I have to rest my voice, like try not to talk, especially on the phone. What?? Me, not talk? Now that is a TALL order! What a lesson on taming my tongue!! Not only am I praying that God will heal my voice by the wedding but I have to do my part in this whole thing too!! Once again I find God pruning me through circumstances. This is going to be interesting!! Hey, at least I can blog!!! My fingers are still fine!

James 3:1-12
Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.

When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.



All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt[a] water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

Make New Friends (But Keep the Old)

Tomorrow marks the beginning of a new school year for the boys. Micah is going to a new school and starting 1st grade. He has been very quiet and not at all enthusiastic about this new venture. You see Micah likes to do what Micah wants to do. He enjoys playing with his little action figures and slapping around the puck in the garage and shooting hoops, but on his time, and when he wants to. He doesn't like being told what to do and how to do it. (And I just don't know where he gets that from!!!) The last few days I have been trying to encourage and excite his little spirit about school. He told me that he doesn't want to go because, and I quote, "It's going to be so boring! I'm just going to have to sit around all day and listen to the teacher!" And yes he is only six years old!!!

So tonight I was putting him to bed and asked him if there was anything he wanted me to pray about. He asked me to pray that he wouldn't get his "card flipped" (behavior program that he knows about because of his big bro. Jonah) and that he would make new friends. And after I prayed for him, he asked me,

"Mommy, what if I don't have time to make new friends?"

And I let him know that he would have the whole school year to make friends and assured him that he would see his other friends who are going to be in different classrooms, etc.

But his little statement really got me thinking... Micah's little six-year old mind is concerned about relationships. His heart is in the right spot. He wants to make time to make friends. And it's at the top of his prayer list, (right after getting into trouble that is).

And again one of my children have taught me a lesson. A priority lesson on what's important in this life. A biblical lesson on caring more about having time to create connections that lead to deep and intimate relationships instead of worrying about all I have to do and what I haven't done. A lesson on making some time to make new friends.

Last Bit O' Summer

We had a great vacation! I am so thankful for blue skies and sunshine! One more week of summer left and I'm going to try to hold onto every bit of it!

Thankful in the Moment

The beginning of this month marked the one year anniversary of my blog. Last August Joe was gone training in New Jersey for his new job for the entire month. I can't believe that it's been a whole year ago already that Joe had to miss our family vacation. This weekend we will be leaving again for our week up north, only this year Joe gets to go! Yeah! I have completely taken it for granted that we are all able to go up as a family. I have been too busy complaining to myself about how the weather is going to be chilly and thinking about how we are just staying in a rustic cottage on an inland lake instead of our luxurious condo on beautiful Lake Michigan that we usually stay in.

How easily I forget how good I have it until I am reminded of how much worse it could be. And my worst isn't even bad, you know? Last year I met a woman who lost her husband a few years ago. He died unexpectedly while getting a minor surgery. She was left with a young baby girl and two boys who are all now, twelve, nine and four. She works and is very involved in all of her kids activities. She has to take care of her house and yard and everything, completely alone. Who am I to even complain, ever?

Today I am thankful. Thankful for my sweet babies and my loving husband. Thankful for an opportunity to take a relaxing vacation with all of them. Thankful for today, because only God knows what tomorrow holds!

This Isn't What We Had Planned...

Joe and I took the kids on a last-minute weekend getaway up north. I love it up there. I have been going to the same area every summer since I was 10 and Joe started coming up with my family when we were in high school. He absolutely loves it there too. Our boys definitely love going and Ayla is following in their footsteps. We enjoyed a couple of days at different beaches, exploring and looking for beloved Petoskey stones. Joe enjoys rock collecting almost more than the boys, I think. We ate good food and took in glorious sunsets. It was a much needed little trip.

On the car ride home, Joe and I started talking about how our life together has not turned out at all as we had anticipated it would. Not that it has turned out too shabby, just not what we expected. A lot of our plans that we had for ourselves and our children have pretty much crumbled to the ground. We always thought that we would have a cottage and take the kids up almost every weekend in the summer, spending our days exploring God's creation and our evenings singing songs around the campfire and roasting marshmallows. We wanted our kids to have a passion for music and the outdoors. We wanted to spend good quality time together, taking it easy and relaxing with each other as a family. We never wanted to run the rat-race of dragging our kids from one activity to another. We always wanted to sit down and eat dinner, all of us together, not scarfing down Happy Meals in the van with a DVD playing. I always said that I would NEVER be one of those crazy hockey moms!!

And here I am, not only a hockey mom, but a baseball mom and golf mom (is there even such a thing?). Joe and I definitely have a hectic, chaotic life together which is totally the opposite picture that we had in our minds before we had kids. And we are to blame. We are the ones who have signed up for this. Part of it is what feels comfortable. Joe grew up playing sports, that's what he knows. As a young married couple, we wanted to break the mold a little bit. Almost rebel, if you will, against the typical household in our city. But here we are running in our little wheel, trying to balance it all and by gosh, we aren't going to break a sweat, at least not enough for anyone else to notice. So we just keep trying to juggle it all, work, activities, commitments, obligations, sports, etc.

The question is, "Is this God's plan for our lives, or is it our plan?" Where does divine intervention intervene into our free will? Is this God's pre-chosen, pre-determined plan for my life and my family's lives or is it my doing? How did we end up here? I find myself reverting back to the Calvinistic doctrine that seems to have been taught to me most of my life and have to admit that I do think that our lives have been predestined to be where they are. If not, I am given way too much credit for choices and in that much more weight than I can bear. And I don't think that we are little pawns either, I'm not saying that. I just think that God's plan is much bigger than all of my little plans and He is going to do what He wants to, whether I'm on board or not. So maybe I should just stop questioning and jump on, even if it's not what I envisioned or much more chaotic than I would like!