Dreary Light

I woke up and felt a chill in the air. The window let no light in except a dull gray haze. I arose and walked through the tiny, dingy cabin and looked out the window to see rain drops sprinkling over our bikes as clouds hung thick and fog spread wide across the greatest of the lakes, Michigan. Stepping outside my face was immediately splattered with slushy droplets...How could this be the first day of July? Just two days ago it was 80 degrees and the sand was so hot we feared blisters on the soles of our feet. And today winter hits me in the face and all my hope is drowned. My gut wrings and the wind in my sails vanishes. My joy is covered up by the clouds and I can't seem to feel the warmth of any light at all. Why does the weather dictate my mood? Why do I have such a hard time finding blessing in the mundane dreariness of the tough times in life? As the sun finally appears in the sky as the day is almost done and warmth fills my whole physical and spiritual being, I am reminded that to appreciate the goodness, the sunshine and true joys in life, I must make my way through the darkness. Always searching for glimpses of His light...and as my favorite lake sparkles turquoise blue and reflects the sun so radiantly, I am inspired to do the same. I sink my toes in the sun-laden sand and pick up my husband's old baseball mitt...my middle boy has been begging to play catch...We warm up, I tell him to take it easy on me and true, deep contentment resonates everywhere as the sun sinks into my whole being. I wind up and throw a softball fast pitch with a small hardball, something I've never done. (And I left the wind up pitch on the field with the softball, the end of my 8th grade year..) It lands in the strike zone and I feel like I've just won the World Series because I saw that heart melting smile shine across the sand-field. I think to myself, it doesn't get much better than this...These little grace moments turning my messed up self into something better. And I carry on, contemplating this mixed up cold to hot day and utter a prayer to the One who is always listening, The God who hears me...May my beautiful yet broken life reflect pieces of the one who works together ALL things, shadows and light, joy and pain, ALL things together for my good...