Wednesday, October 22, 2014

In This, I Rest

We don't watch the news at our house.  If the television is on, usually sports commentators or tweenyboppers are filling the air space in the family room (unless the kids are sleeping and I am catching up on my favorite shows) Needless to say, I boycott the news.  I am not ashamed to admit that the current events I am aware of are mostly brought to my attention through the fb newsfeed.  Anything I don't catch there finds it's way to my ears through the lips of my beloved clients behind my chair.  But anyone breathing air has not been able to avoid the Ebola scare.  The kids come home from school updating me on the latest misinformed information.  The school nurse has made her rounds informing the students about staying home if they are sick and has reiterated washing hands.  (thank you for that, Nurse Cathie. They really are listening.  Nothing like a killer virus that has the potential to become the world's next major epidemic scaring my kids into finally washing their filthy hands!)   I have had 3 calls with a sick girl in the office since September.  I fear my 7 year old is turning into a hypochondriac along with the rest of the world.  But today she really was sick and the poor thing had to wait an hour and a half on the cot there because her Papa totally forgot to get her.  Sweet thing.  He felt awful and so did I.  That working mama guilt swallowed me whole and then spit me out just in time to smooth it all over with that consoling frosting I keep in my back pocket.  And it is no piece  of cake doing that, just FYI.  

But that little girl of mine, she was laying there on the couch with her rosy cheeks and glassy eyes and that horrible fear engulfed me.  What if she has it?  I mean we don't live that far from Akron, Ohio where the infected nurse flew to...And as soon as the thought crossed my mind, it crossed right back out into reality.  Jonah had a fever last week, and I'm sure she caught it...The media plays on our emotions.  Unfortunately anything to make a story, hype a crowd, pull a heartstring or trigger a panic attack always leads the headlines.  We run on emotion and fear.  And no one who is breathing is exempt from death.  We all will face it sooner or later.  Life is fleeting.  How will I live mine?  In fear of an awful disease or horrific accident?  Will I worry continually about my kids and their choices that go far beyond whether they wash their hands and much deeper into if they will seek refuge from worries and hardships in the things of this world or in the one who made them?  

And these questions and wonder slowly turn into a creeping anxiety that wrenches it's way into my gut.  I want to keep my loved ones safe in my bubble, cozied up next to me in this warm place...But if I've learned anything at all in this dance called motherhood it is submission to control is usually the most powerful tool.  Only when I cast any care from the least to the greatest at the feet of the one who grants all peace and comfort can I rest reassuringly.  Losing control and handing over the baton to Him who works together all things for the good of us who love Him grants me control over my fear.  And nobody loves His children more perfectly than He who created us in the first place.  "As a father has compassion for his children, so the LORD has compassion for those who fear him" (Psalm 103:13)  And he promises us comfort as well.  "As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you" (Isa. 66:13) I can find rest in these words of life today.  As my precious ones sip hot soup and lay cuddled up on the couch, I cast cares and fears upward at a heavenly throne to a listening ear who loves them more than I could ever imagine.  In this, I rest.

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