Saturday, November 20, 2010
I have the most wonderful next door neighbors. They are so giving and gracious. "Mr. Nice Neighbor" has been blowing our leaves in the front yard since they started to fall a few weeks ago on a regular basis. Tonight as I was walking through the family room I glanced out the window and noticed him in the back, mowing the lawn and piling up the leaves. Immediately I was filled with embarrassment and humility. Embarrassed because we haven't made time to take care of our property and humbled just because he told me that he was-and I quote- "tickled pink to do it"
I wish that I could be just as "tickled pink" myself and happy to have such an amazing neighbor. Instead I am wracking my brain trying to figure out what I can do to make up for his sacrificed time and hard work.
In the same way I constantly try to "make it up" spiritually speaking. I have the hardest time accepting the grace that God has bestowed upon me. I feel as though I constantly need to pay Christ back for what He did on the cross for me. Whether it be through worship, obedience, sacrifice, etc. I really do believe that it becomes a vicious cycle like a hamster spinning in his little wheel that just leads nowhere but wastes a lot of time.
I will never ever be able to pay our God back for the ultimate sacrifice ever made. My pride, my humanity yearns to even up the score. Jesus assures me that the game has already been won and He has already done all of the work. The whole game has been played out and He has lead us, all of us who believe, into a triumphant victory.
So tonight I'm chewing on that in silence. I'm trying to swallow my competitive nature a bit and enjoy the freedom that He has granted me. And maybe, just maybe I'll become a little "tickled pink"!