Monday, June 8, 2009

Living in the Now

Today marks the first day of the last week of school for the boys. As excited as I am about summer, I have been super emotional. How quickly they grow!!!! In the fall, Jonah will be in third grade and Micah will start first grade at the same school. I am not nearly as nervous as I was when Jonah started first grade but I am sad.

See, change and I, well we don't go together too well. All three times that we have moved I have mourned over our previous dwellings. The last move was the worst, I was a complete mess. I was the last one in the house vacuuming the basement and dusting the floors and just sobbing my brains out. I stopped by my mom's house afterward and she thought that somebody passed away. I couldn't even talk because I was crying so hard! And it's the memories that I was going to miss, not the actual house.

I tend to hold onto the past and worry about the future, instead of living in the moment. I'm working on this. I'm trying to live in the now and enjoy each minute of the day, TODAY. Guilt is such an ugly trap that I am sick of being stuck in. What I didn't do right or how I should have done something different. So instead of beating myself up and having a pity party right now, I'm going to go and tuck my little ones into bed and cherish every moment! (...because all too soon, they won't want back-scratches and goodnight kisses!!!)

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