So tonight I went to my first kick-boxing class ever. A couple of girls from work have been going and I decided to try it out. I haven't exercised in months and am extremely uncoordinated so I really don't know what I was thinking except that I want to get into shape and tone up. So right before it was time for me to leave, I told Joe how I wasn't sure that I should go, maybe I could just do my pilates video (actually my pregnancy pilates video even though my baby is going to turn two next month and I am NOT expecting). I was looking for an excuse not to go and I thought that he would discourage me and want my help with the kids or whatever...Well of course, he did not. He just gave me a look that said, "Stop stalling and GO!" So out the door I went and the panic kicked in as soon as I shut the car door. Believe it or not I have some social anxiety issues, especially when florescent lights and sweat are involved. My heart was pounding so hard that I'm sure everyone could hear it when I walked in. And wouldn't you know it my friends just happened to be absent! OF COURSE!
So the music begins and we start jabbing (mind you I don't even know how to make a proper fist...what was I thinking?) and bouncing and I start to see stars and begin to feel my head spinning. I don't know if I am just completely and utterly in the worst shape of my life or if it was my nerves or a combination of the two. I am thanking the Lord in heaven above right now that I did not pass out! I actually got through the whole session (with a few extra water breaks). I felt like I ran a marathon afterwards and thought that I was going to toss my cookies on the ride home, but the sense of accomplishment was grand!
Starting to tone up my physical body has got me thinking about my soul's well being. How much have I been exercising my faith and am I doing it halfheartedly or full-force? Am I just going through the motions or am I giving 100% of my heart to it? And why am I so afraid to take the next step and "just do it"? Maybe it's because I'm afraid that I'm not going to do it right. Maybe it's just pure laziness or maybe, it's a little of both.
Whatever my reasons, I need to get off of my spiritual rump and move forward in my faith. I need to stop making excuses and start exercising it in new ways. I know that it is going to be uncomfortable and it might even hurt. There usually is pain in any type of growth but the reward will far outweigh the minor injuries, I'm sure. So I'm going to start "toning up" tonight in more ways than one. Hopefully I won't give up in the next few days when my muscles start to throb. Hopefully I won't quit when God starts to mold this hunk of clay into a beautiful new shape.
Toning up is never easy, but I think it will be worth it!
(...and bear with me through this version of these verses, I think it's really worth it!!)
2 Peter 1:5-8 (Amplified Bible)
For this very reason, adding your diligence [to the divine promises], employ every effort in exercising your faith to develop virtue (excellence, resolution, Christian energy), and in [exercising] virtue [develop] knowledge (intelligence),
And in [exercising] knowledge [develop] self-control, and in [exercising] self-control [develop] steadfastness, (patience, endurance), and in [exercising] steadfastness [develop] godliness (piety),
And in [exercising] godliness [develop] brotherly affection, and in [exercising] brotherly affection [develop] Christian love.
For as these qualities are yours and increasingly abound in you, they will keep [you] from being idle or unfruitful unto the [full personal] knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One).