Thursday, December 4, 2008

Like a Dove

The date was December 3, 2000. I was pregnant with my first child and three days over due. On and off all day I was having contractions and finally in the evening around 9pm they started getting harder and more consistent. Joe drove me to the hospital which was a twenty minute car ride down a pot-hole infested Michigan freeway. That was not fun! We got to the hospital and I thought for sure the doctor was going to tell me I was ready to push but instead he let me know I was barely dilated to one and was going to send me home. I pleaded with him and told him how much pain I was in, so he admitted me to the hospital and gave me some medicine that was supposed to help me sleep but instead made me sick. The hours went by and while I was in the absolute worst pain of my life, my husband mistakingly complained about how uncomfortable the futon was that he was trying to sleep on (and oh how he has never lived that down, let me tell you!). My water broke sometime in the middle of the night filled with meconium and the midwife and a few residents came into my room and told me how the baby's heart rate was dropping and that they were going to call the doctor. I signed papers for an emergency c-section. I have never experienced the peace that passes all understanding until this moment in my life. Joe and I held hands, closed our eyes and prayed,

"Lord, we pray that you will let our baby live. If you choose to take him we accept that, but if you bless us with his life, we will give him back to you. He will be your servant. He won't be ours, he will be yours."

I was so at peace. I knew everything was going to be o.k., even if God didn't allow him to live. I can't even describe in words the comfort that I felt that night. A few minutes later one of the nurses came in and had me get on my hands and knees and rock back and forth. They put a fetal monitor on the baby's head and soon after the anesthesiologist came in and gave me my epidural (the best invention EVER!) and with in twenty minutes I was ready to push. They had the neonatal intensive care unit all set up in my room and the doctor told Joe he wasn't going to be able to cut the chord because it was probably around the baby's neck. Sure enough as soon as his little head popped out we saw the chord wrapped around his neck a couple of times. His skin appeared green. Quickly the doctor snipped the chord and minutes later my sweet Jonah arrived to planet earth. Immediately he let out this loud scream which was music to our ears. The NICU checked his vitals and told us everything was fine. They brought him to me and the love that fills a mother's heart the first time she holds her newborn is indescribable. Tears of joy filled our eyes as we gazed at this precious blessing. Our good friend who happened to be one of our pastors at the time, came in and prayed with us. Not knowing what we had asked our God earlier, he prayed that Jonah would become a mighty leader and servant of the Lord Jesus. While he was praying Joe and I sensed the presence of God right there in that little hospital room. We had such a confirmation in both of our spirits of God's will for our little baby's life.

Throughout these eight years of Jonah's life I often think of this miracle. Every year on his birthday I tell him the story all over again. His lips curl up into a little smile and his blue eyes twinkle as he looks up at me and asks to hear it again.
His name means "like a dove" and he truly is. One of the definitions of dove is peace. Jonah is so compassionate and loving. My prayer is that God will use him to bring this love and peace that comes from above to many. I know that his life is going to be significant. I know that he will lead many to Christ. I know this because my God chose to bless me with his little life and I truly believe God honored my prayer. Jonah is His servant and His child and I thank Him for allowing me the pleasure of mothering him.

Father in Heaven, please forgive me for not always remembering your miracle. Thank you for my sweet Jonah and help me to lead him and raise him in your ways. Thank you for your grace that you bestow on me when I don't but help me to do your will, daily.

1 comment:

Shawn said...

Emily, You have to print this on special paper and give it to Jonah. He will be able to read the love his mama has for him. What a sweet tribute to your boy! Love, Shawn